What a busy day! took mom to the eye doc and she got another shot in the eye. I took her shopping and she got some new clothes, and I think she was happy. She loves me so very much, and I seem to make her day. She loves it when i call her and just make that connection.
We talked about death a little today, and I reminded her of what she told me. She said she believes Jesus died for all her sins and He took them all away. I told her that when that day comes she would not be in the casket, but in heaven with Him. The best is yet to come. I wish I could really share it all with her, because I want her to know it. I want her to share my joy.
I do cherish each moment. I want her to see Christ in me. I want her to know that I do what I do because of Him, that in my flesh I would rather not at times. The physical realities are such that it is true that it is very difficult to get around with her, a huge hassle, but I have to ask my self, what is this worth? They day will come soon when she leaves this earth and I am without my mom. I don’t want to grieve over what I should have done but didn’t. I don’t want to look back at these times and say “I should have…” The time is short, she grows weaker each week, each time. Breathing is more labored, strength is going, mind is weakening due to the disease making its steady march toward her end. While her dying and leaving his earth will be a horrendous terrible horrible event for me, I am so comforted by the hope I have in Christ that she will be with Him, waiting for me! She asked me if I will know her, and if she will know people and I assured her she would, but would not even care. she did not understand this. She does not understand it is all about Him.
I love you mom.
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