Today has been one of those days that marks time in a person’s life. It began like any other day with the exception that my husband had a job interview by phone. He went to work, I worked on my things in my chair, laptop- well- on my lap. I got a call to go to mom and dad’s because dad could not get mom’s stockings on without hurting her legs so I tromped over there and stayed a while.
Today she proclaimed she is miserable. She also had difficulty remembering our names today so I made her a cardboard with all our names on it in big black letters that hopefully she can see.
Life took a wild southerly turn when I received a text from my hubby that said he was offered a job and they want him to start in 30 days. I have known this was coming. I have known in my heart that this was going to be the place we went and I am ok with it (I think). The Lord and I have had many conversations over this possibility and He has made me ok with it.
It is just that it is another change, time to get sucked deeper into the cyclone again for a while. I have lived in a cyclone for the better part of the past decade. In 2000 my father in law was to move in with us and he suddenly passed away, a mere four months after his wife. We were left with a huge home addition, our jobs changed, our church changed (twice!) we started over several times in many different ways.
In the past 3 years, my son left home and got married, my other son joined the military and is gone, and my baby began high school. My mom’s health decline began in earnest and financially things have been tough in this economy.
Every time I thought I could not take another thing, God reminded me I could do all things in Him and laid another care or another woe at my door. Each time I cried out to Him, “Who do you think I am?! Don’t you know I am only human? I am not Paul, I am not Peter! I am certainly nor JOB! I am just a poor stupid sinner!”
Each time God reminded me He has me in His grip. Each time He reminded me that He would never leave me or forsake me. Each time He reminded me He is keeping me. And in these reminders, He reminds me He loves me.
We have weathered unimaginable storms in the last decade. It is in these storms I have learned the things I posted last time. I have learned more that I will post in the days to come.
So now I am sucked up in the cyclone again, my mom is dying, my house is for sale, my husband has a new job as of today in another State, and in just 35 days we will be separated for a period of time. I am staying here to manage the home and sale and care for my mom while he goes ahead and gets things started there.
I am (eventually) leaving behind a ministry that I love deeply and friends I will miss terribly. I have to tell my friend and ministry co-worker that we are moving away…
Today I am deep into the cyclone…the clouds are swirling fast and furious and I am feeling tossed about and spun around. It is SO good to know that God controls the cyclones of life. In Job we see a clear picture of God’s control over the seemingly uncontrollable. God Himself proclaims His masterful hold and control over His creation. (Job 38-40)
That includes me. I remain in His grip.
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