continued from previous post…I believe the point of these verses in Proverbs 31 are about her diligence in caring for her family. She is not lazy and shiftless. She is a busy woman but she is busy at things that matter. Her day is not spent on the phone, email or shopping while the house falls apart around her. She is wise with finances and does not spend money foolishly. She plans her days, has objectives and plans for her time. Because her desire is to glorify God, she is busy with her hands, making a good and decent home for her husband and children. This is what causes her to get up at 4 a.m. and put his lunch together so it is fresh and not soggy. This is why cupcakes are made at 9:00 at night for the next day’s school treat, why children are prepared for school and activities, and why it is all able to be done with a smile and not a sigh. The issue is the heart, not the activity. It is the heart! (See the diagram above.) All these actions are results of a heart that is yielded to God for His use and His glory. Many women are too busy thinking of only themselves to consider what God may have for them. The life I am describing requires sacrifice no doubt- we live in a world where personal gain and satisfaction are the normal goals, and where the family is so devalued it is not easy to make this change in thinking. But where there is desire, It is possible! However many Christian women are just not willing! Especially the young women who have grown up under “liberated” mothers. Most have had no discipleship or mentoring by an older woman. They have little skill in the area of being a godly wife and sadly, don’t want any. They approach marriage as a contract situation expecting ½ and ½ responsibilities and they also expect to live their own life simply consulting with their husbands about their plans for entertainment and such. Some even take vacations separately citing needing personal time or private time. I do not see anywhere in the Bible or in our lessons so far that this appropriate for a marriage! When you marry, you become one with that person, and someone who says they need “alone time” is in essence they need a break from themselves. My answer to women who adopt this attitude is that is not what you signed up for at the altar. Lets move on- She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions. She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness. A godly wife is prepared. She takes care of her spiritual growth through feasting on the Word. This strengthens her for the trials life brings her. This is where her wisdom comes from, not Oprah and Dr. Phil. She guards her home carefully, watching for worldly influences and wolves that might affect her family. She wisely brings these things to the attention of her husband. He is ultimately responsible for his household before the Lord. The godly woman and wife finds her strength in the Lord, not in her husband or someone else. I do believe this is why she can laugh at the future. Wives are so often let down emotionally because we have this wrong expectation of our husbands. We tend to make them into our gods. Some want to worship them, and some husbands want to be worshipped. We forget that they are fallible and many have not been brought up to be leaders or godly men. We forget the pressures they are also under from all sides to be seduced by the world into immorality and pornography and laziness and other forms of idolatry. We are to pray, support, admonish, correct, love, serve, follow, and respect them. We are not to worship them or sin for them.
About The Author
Julie Ganschow has been involved in biblical counseling and discipleship for more than 25 years. She is passionate about heart change for life change. Julie is a gifted counselor and teacher, has authored numerous books and materials for biblical counseling, and co-authored a biblical counseling training course. She is a featured contributor in GriefShare and a frequent retreat and conference speaker. Julie is the founder and director of Reigning Grace Counseling Center and Biblical Counseling for Women. She has been writing a daily blog about women’s counseling issues since 2008. Julie holds a doctorate in biblical counseling, in addition to an M.A. in biblical counseling and certification with the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors (ACBC). She also serves on the Council Board for the Biblical Counseling Coalition. She makes her home in Kansas City, Missouri with her wonderful husband Larry. You can find her blog at bc4women.org and information about her ministries at rgcconline.org and biblicalcounselingforwomen.org
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We are not a licensed counseling agency, nor are we psychologically or medically trained therapists. We offer 'pastoral' counseling intended to bring life change through heart change.