“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 Many years ago I was very thoughtless with my words. I would say whatever was on my mind, even if I thought it would be hurtful. If I thought it was true and you needed to hear it, out it came! I hurt many people with this way of life. I would find myself saying really cruel things to people because I was not thinking before I spoke, and I did not consider what my words would mean to them. What I learned through that time in my life is that careless words can do as much harm as deliberately cruel words. My reckless words were usually foolish talk, judgmental statements, and inconsiderate of others feelings and opinions. I had not learned how to curb my tongue or to be aware of the cues and clues that were flying around the room when I would go down one of those relationship tirades. I have a friend who jokingly says sarcasm is a gift (sarcastically spoken) and I agree. It is the gift that keeps on giving! Sometimes humor is used to cover up critical or derogatory things.These are careless comments that we justify and rationalize by saying “I was only kidding.” We try and disguise the true motive of our heart by calling it humor and disregard that we may be hurting someone’s feelings.

We communicate with all parts of our bodies all the time! We say things like, “If looks could kill you would be dead,” and we “shoot daggers” out of our eyes, which is a powerful non-verbal method of communicating. Sometimes, the non-verbal says more than our words could ever say!

A newer form of non-verbal communication involves the cell phone and internet. I have such great reservations about the use of these conveniences as primary forms of talking to important people in our lives! Have you come to rely on your cell phone to “talk” to your husband or child?

This is deadly to any relationship! I have seen entire relationships conducted via chats and text messages. What a horrible method of “relating” to a loved one! In a chat you are unable to gather any data on voice inflection, body language or emphasis on parts of the dialogue. I have had several chats where things that have been said have been badly misconstrued because the person on the other end could not “hear” me.

Text messages have been hauled into my counseling office, literally hundreds of them between parties who have disagreed. Moms and teens, husbands and wives all trying to carry on life and marriage via text messages and cell phone conversations. These tools of convenience are often used to hurt one another. It is very easy to do a verbal hit and run when you don’t have to actually face a person! That is no way to carry on a relationship!Be cautious when texting; and think about how the person on the other end of the line will hear what you said to them!

Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. Colossians 4:6

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