For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel [body] in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-7
Immorality is at an all-time high in our culture. Adultery, serial monogamy, fornication, sexting and other kinds of sexual sin are an all too common phenomenon in our world. Sadly, this stuff takes place among young people even in our churches. Women don’t seem to think too hard about “hooking up” with someone they meet at a party, or a bar anymore. Even Christian women have fallen prey to sexual immorality in secular situations.
I used to be shocked when I was told by a young Christian woman about her sleepovers with male friends, but not any more! It seems that this is a routine occurrence even among our own Christian kids and young adults. Sometimes these casual sleepovers result in casual sex, and in several cases I know of these casual sleepovers have resulted in rape. Tragic consequences for those young women for sure!
Once while I was waiting for someone outside a college I accidentally overheard a conversation taking place between two young college men. The one guy was telling his friend about the girl he met at a party recently and how he could not believe the things she was willing to do with him- repeatedly. I was shocked not only at his vulgarity but also at his willingness to discuss this openly without shame.
I wondered about this young “lady” then and still do several years later. What circumstances led her to be so careless with her body? What was she thinking and what is her life like today? Is she now like so many women I talk to; full of regret, hardened and ashamed of her past?
If you were intimate with strangers in your life before Christ, you may feel shamed and guilt ridden. When a woman realizes what she has done with her body (no matter how many years ago) a deep sense of shame and guilt is realized. You may think of yourself as “cheap” or “used” and unfit or unworthy of a meaningful sexual relationship in marriage. You may hesitate to give yourself fully to your husband because on some level you believe you are not worthy of such a wonderful man and anything sexual reminds you of your shameful past. The intimate acts your husband desires may remind you of things you have done with other men and and this will bring back vivid memories that result in shame and guilt.
This post does not even begin to address the very, very sad and sometimes life-long consequences of sexually transmitted diseases that are contracted through all this illicit sexual activity.
No matter how acceptable the sexual act is inside of marriage there remains a sense of something spoiled about it for a woman who has previously been sexually active.
More next time on the results of sexual sin in marriage
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