Once you have begun to practice the listening principle, you can begin to add the others into your communication habits.
Another important thing in communication is honesty. This is only ceasing to lie, it is beginning to speak the truth, no matter what it costs you personally. Paul says the first place we need to grow in our communication is honesty (Eph. 4:25.)
Please realize that no one can read your mind, but you sure would not know it the way some people communicate! They are all about telling you what you think, what you meant by what you said, and how you feel. And while it is true that we cannot read each other’s minds, we can gain a sense of what they are trying to communicate but we cannot be certain unless they agree with our conclusion.
Paul said, “For who among men knows the thought of a man except the spirit of man, which is in him?”
That’s why this point is so important. “Non- verbal” communication is helpful but can never be conclusive. We do need to be alert to smiles, frowns, voice tones, body language, notes, pats, hugs, helpfulness, attentiveness, etc. But that cannot be and is not conclusive.
Don’t cut corners in communication. If young couples were taught to practice good communication, and they could not marry until they did, there would be a lot less divorces!
Another important thing is to speak only to the person involved about a problem, don’t gossip or speak poorly of other people. You have no business telling the business of someone else, and a way to check this “in the moment” would be, before you speak as yourself if you would say this if the person you are speaking of was right with you. If not, you better rethink the decision to tell someone else’s business.
The first to plead his case seems right, until another comes and examines him. Proverbs 18:17
Be kindly compassionate to one another, speak as you want to be spoken to, and honor Christ with your words. You may already know that some people are very selfish with their words. They are also are very cutting and caustic with their speech… Neither of these are God’s ideal in communication. We are told to be just the opposite in Col 4:6. Words that hurt seem to be the weapons of choice simply because they get the other persons attention fast.
Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person. Colossians 4:6
Things to avoid: outright lying, embellishing/exaggerating the facts, Under the table messages or back door messages (let your yes be yes and no be no.), 100% words like always and never.
Our use of these 100% words are falsehoods. I don’t think anyone can be “always and never” all of the time. It may seem that way to you from your perspective, but please be cautious in how you use these words.
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