I am re-posting blogs this week as I am attending a conference. I hope you both enjoy and learn from those I have selected to post all week.  Blessings! 

Have you ever wanted to just give up on a spiritual goal? There have been times I have wanted to give up the pursuit of holiness and in fact, I have cried out to God that I must have been crazy to seek such a thing! I have wailed how this was all a mistake, and never mind what I said!

What I knew before was that the Bible chronicles the trials of Paul (2 Cor. 11:23-28), and that in spite of his incredible trials he persevered and stayed the course. He suffered the loss of all things (Phil 3:8) yet finished well; and all it cost him was his life.

I have had many conflicted discussions with myself over this because frankly, I am tired of suffering and trials. I admit there are times I long for the apparent ease of the lives of those people who do not have the same desires I have for Christ. And yet, no matter what I come up against, it is always HIM I run to, HIM I desire, HIM I proclaim.

Please be clear, I am no super saint, I am not perfect (far from it!) and I have plenty of areas of my heart that need changing like anyone does. I cannot explain this desire I have to know Him, to be intimately in tune with Him so that I may serve Him faithfully and glorify Him with my life.

What I have learned thus far is that the things that once meant everything to me had to become nothing.

Paul said: “What things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ” (Phil 3:7-8).

I once had a big beautiful home that meant very much to me. When God began to change my heart I could  not wait to sell it! It became a hindrance to me, to my service to the King. It took up hours of my life in maintaining that I wanted to spend doing things that are Kingdom oriented. Over the past decade I lost the desire for material things as compared to my former self. For this, I give glory to God! It is truly His hand in this change.

The things that have been easy to surrender are the bright side of this equation. Other things have been and continue to be incredibly, miserably difficult. I could literally write a novella on them all, but I will spare you that. The point is that when God begins this process and brings these desires to you there is a cost. The old hymn I Surrender All contains this verse:

All to Jesus I surrender
All to Him I freely give
I will ever love and trust Him
In His presence daily live
I surrender all
I surrender all
All to Thee my precious Savior
I surrender all
I have learned that when you say that, God takes it seriously.