For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous, and His ears attend to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil. 1 Peter 3:12
If you are struggling with bitterness and unforgiveness the place to begin is to get the log out of your own eye and address your own sin before you go rooting around other people’s issues. Bitter women are often very content to blame others for their own sinful responses and anger.
While it may be true that another person can do and say things that are hurtful and cause you to become angry it is always your choice what you choose to do with those emotions. If you do not deal with them righteously you will sin in your anger and eventually, you will become bitter.
There is only one way out of bitterness, and that is to forgive. I understand that you may not feel like forgiving, perhaps in your mind to forgive makes you a fool or a doormat, but that is not so. You may also think that those who have hurt you are not deserving of your forgiveness, and you may be right. Even in the hardest things of life we must always look to Christ as our example and subject our feelings to the authority of the Word of God.
What does the Bible say about forgiving those who hurt you?
Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions. Mark 11:25-26
If you have been born again you have been forgiven by God through Jesus Christ. If you understand the gospel you know that you were so undeserving, and so unworthy of forgiveness or mercy… how having received such a marvelous gift can you possibly withhold forgiveness and mercy from another sinner?
In the above passage, Jesus is saying that a person who truly understands what they once were and admits their own unworthiness will not withhold forgiveness, grace and mercy from another person. A true believer always forgives; it is evidence of Christ in us!
The very essence of grace is that you are not getting some horrible thing you deserve, and the essence of mercy is you are getting something you most certainly do not deserve! This is grace, forgiveness, justification, redemption, sanctification, and reconciliation. How would you dare to withhold from another person this grace that has been lavished upon you?
Forgiveness is the only way to be done with bitterness. The desire of your heart must become to forgive those who have hurt you. Ask the Lord to give you a hatred for the sins of anger and bitterness you are laden with and a heart that beats to glorify God through how you live your life. He will take it from there.
In Ezekiel 11:19-20 the Lord says, “And I will give them one heart, and put a new spirit within them. And I will take the heart of stone out of their flesh and give them a heart of flesh, that they may walk in My statutes and keep My ordinances and do them. Then they will be My people, and I shall be their God.”
It is the Lord your God who will change your heart from one hard, bitter stone into a soft, pliable, malleable heart ready to focus on Him. After the heart is prepared the work can begin.