Today’s guest blogger is Ellen Castillo.
In my experience with training women to become Biblical
Mentors, I have held conversations with women about the reasons why they do not
mentor the younger generation.
Mentors, I have held conversations with women about the reasons why they do not
mentor the younger generation.
The most common responses are:
Fear of not
having anything to offer.
having anything to offer.
Fear of man
(insecurity).
(insecurity).
Fear of failure.
Fear of not
knowing how to help with deeper life struggles.
knowing how to help with deeper life struggles.
Fear of not
knowing God’s Word well enough.
knowing God’s Word well enough.
Fear of causing
more harm than good.
more harm than good.
Fear of being
transparent.
transparent.
Fear of giving
bad advice.
bad advice.
On the flip side, I have also had many conversations with
younger women in the church about the reasons why they do not have a mentor, or
why they do not seek out a mentor.
younger women in the church about the reasons why they do not have a mentor, or
why they do not seek out a mentor.
Their most common responses are:
Fear of
bothering or burdening someone.
bothering or burdening someone.
Fear of man
(insecurity).
(insecurity).
Fear of failure.
Fear that others
will not understand her deeper struggles.
will not understand her deeper struggles.
Fear that the
advice will not be Biblical.
advice will not be Biblical.
Fear that she
won’t be able to follow through.
won’t be able to follow through.
Fear of being
transparent.
transparent.
Fear that the
women they seek out will not be a good match.
women they seek out will not be a good match.
God’s Word has much to say about fear. There is one type
of fear that is beneficial and encouraged – the fear of the Lord. This is the reverence
for a holy God, the respect for His power, the awe of his glory, and the
knowledge of his wrath. (Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 19:23; Proverbs 14:27; Proverbs
14:26). There is another type of fear that is to our detriment, and that is
something for women to overcome. This fear holds us back from serving God’s
people effectively.
of fear that is beneficial and encouraged – the fear of the Lord. This is the reverence
for a holy God, the respect for His power, the awe of his glory, and the
knowledge of his wrath. (Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 19:23; Proverbs 14:27; Proverbs
14:26). There is another type of fear that is to our detriment, and that is
something for women to overcome. This fear holds us back from serving God’s
people effectively.
The Bible calls it the “spirit of fear” in 2 Timothy 1:7.
The verse says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of
love and of a sound mind.” (NKJV). A spirit of fearfulness and timidity does
not come from God.
The verse says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of
love and of a sound mind.” (NKJV). A spirit of fearfulness and timidity does
not come from God.
As we approach our mentoring relationships, we must be sure
that the Gospel informs how we proceed. Where there is fear, love is set aside.
This is an issue of the heart, and both mentors and mentees will need to do
some heart-work in order for the mentoring relationship to be fruitful.
that the Gospel informs how we proceed. Where there is fear, love is set aside.
This is an issue of the heart, and both mentors and mentees will need to do
some heart-work in order for the mentoring relationship to be fruitful.
If fear is our ruling force, we will not be able to
fulfill God’s command in the second chapter of Titus to teach the younger and
be taught by the older. The good news is that there is a remedy for our fear:
The Gospel.
fulfill God’s command in the second chapter of Titus to teach the younger and
be taught by the older. The good news is that there is a remedy for our fear:
The Gospel.
To overcome the spirit of fear, we need to trust in and love
God completely. 1 John 4:18 describes, “There is no fear in love. But perfect
love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears
is not made perfect in love.” Only by understanding and believing the clear
Gospel message can we trust in and love God completely. We cannot muster up
this kind of love on our own, so it must be God’s love for us, God’s love in
us, and God’s love pouring out of us that allows more experienced women to
engage in healthy relationships with less experienced women.
God completely. 1 John 4:18 describes, “There is no fear in love. But perfect
love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears
is not made perfect in love.” Only by understanding and believing the clear
Gospel message can we trust in and love God completely. We cannot muster up
this kind of love on our own, so it must be God’s love for us, God’s love in
us, and God’s love pouring out of us that allows more experienced women to
engage in healthy relationships with less experienced women.
Scripture is full of “fear not” verses. If fear is holding
you back from serving God faithfully, look up these and other Scriptures that speak
to our fears: Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 10:31, Psalm 56:11, Job 13:15, and there
are so very many more. Using an online Bible verse site and searching the word
“fear” will draw up more examples to aid in discovering God’s plan for you.
you back from serving God faithfully, look up these and other Scriptures that speak
to our fears: Isaiah 41:10, Matthew 10:31, Psalm 56:11, Job 13:15, and there
are so very many more. Using an online Bible verse site and searching the word
“fear” will draw up more examples to aid in discovering God’s plan for you.
By receiving The Gospel for salvation and then applying it
to our sanctification, we will be able to learn to put all our trust in God.
Only then will we no longer be afraid of the things that hold us back.
to our sanctification, we will be able to learn to put all our trust in God.
Only then will we no longer be afraid of the things that hold us back.
If you have a heart to mentor or to be mentored, but fear
is holding you back, I encourage you to do a bit of heart work and ask The Lord
to show you His love for you so that you will be motivated to love him back
completely. Only that relationship between you and Jesus will help you to move
past your fears and begin to fulfill the command in Titus 2:3-5 to teach the
younger women and to be a younger woman being taught by an older woman.
is holding you back, I encourage you to do a bit of heart work and ask The Lord
to show you His love for you so that you will be motivated to love him back
completely. Only that relationship between you and Jesus will help you to move
past your fears and begin to fulfill the command in Titus 2:3-5 to teach the
younger women and to be a younger woman being taught by an older woman.
Mentoring relationships are a beautiful, Biblical thing
that is beneficial to all of us. If you don’t have one, I encourage you to both
serve and be served as mentors and mentees in the body of Christ for your
benefit and for God’s glory!
that is beneficial to all of us. If you don’t have one, I encourage you to both
serve and be served as mentors and mentees in the body of Christ for your
benefit and for God’s glory!
To
learn more about becoming equipped as a Biblical Mentor, please visit www.biblicalmentor.com where you can find training and resources to assist you
in your mentoring relationships.
learn more about becoming equipped as a Biblical Mentor, please visit www.biblicalmentor.com where you can find training and resources to assist you
in your mentoring relationships.
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