Sorrow & Joy: Saying Both Hello & Goodbye
The last few weeks have been a mixed bag of sorrow and joy. My husband and I went to visit my dad recently, knowing it may well be the final time I see him alive. Dementia has become aggressive, and in the past 6 weeks, he has declined a lot. In the past 2 weeks, the downward slide has been alarming. A week ago the staff at his residence recommended we put hospice in place. Yesterday they recommended we plan his funeral.
When I greeted my dad last visit, it was clear he didn’t know who I was. He was quiet during our visit, mostly just observing us observing him. He really enjoyed watching my 2-year-old granddaughter prance around; it put a small smile on his weathered face. Despite everyone’s best efforts, he’s been falling down quite a bit. He is black and blue and is sporting several band-aids. The disease has affected his ability to stand and balance so any time he needed to get up we were sure to be there to help him until he got what was left of his balance in check. Apparently, he no longer has the ability to stand, but he doesn’t know that. He continues to try to get up and walk. This has created a very hazardous situation for him. It is extremely hard to watch someone decline like this.
Today I am headed north for the birth of my grandson. We will be caring for our granddaughter and will keep her busy while her mommy and daddy are welcoming her little brother into the world.
This is such a mixed bag of emotions! I am rejoicing over the addition of a precious new baby into our family, and I am sorrowful as my dad is slipping away. My heart is divided as I say both “hello” and “goodbye” to people I love.
The Privilege of Prayer
I continue to trust that the God who created my dad and gave him life for 95 and a half years can reach him in places no human being can go. I am supremely confident that if my God intends my dad to be with Him in paradise, no disease can stop him from safely arriving on those golden shores. I am also confident that if my dad is not one of the elect, the Lord will give me the grace to bear up under that sorrow.
“Truly, truly, I say to you, he who hears My word, and believes Him who sent Me, has eternal life, and does not come into judgment, but has passed out of death into life.”John 5:24
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