Welcome to the BC4Women Blog
A place to find truth from God's Word, to read book reviews and inspiring true stories of the faith. A place to learn about the key to successful change.
What If…the “Worst” Happens?
“But what if it’s cancer? How will we deal with that? I don’t want to leave my husband and children alone!”
“But what if my car breaks down? I barely have enough money to cover my expenses! How will I get to work?
“But what if the pain gets worse? How will I cope with it? How will I function?”
The Danger of Drifting from the Spiritual Disciplines
At some point, many Christians begin slowly drifting away from the spiritual disciplines that are the anchors of their faith. Bible reading becomes sporadic or nonexistent, prayer becomes more like a lifeline than a daily conversation, and even church attendance goes by the wayside.
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You Disappoint Me: The Importance of Asking Questions
They were at loggerheads. It started off with a frustrated comment about a church member’s absence from the annual church meeting. When the guilt-trip did not have the desired impact, the conversation spiraled into accusations of being hard, selfish, and cruel. From being frustrated at the lack of attendance at a church meeting, the person now heard “you disappoint me.”
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Companionship in Marriage
Companionship in Marriage Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” Genesis 2:18 (ESV) I recently taught a lesson on the importance of companionship between a husband and wife in...
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Remember the Faithfulness of God
There are many definitions of depression out there in the world, but biblically, depression can be defined by just three words: Sorrow without hope. A depressed counselee has lost hope, and now believes she will never be happy again. Perhaps something terrible has happened to trigger this season of deep sadness. But often, there has been no crisis or life-changing event that has shaken the counselee’s faith.
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Encouragement in the Storm: Hurricane Harvey
All eyes have been on Texas for the past several days. The hurricane that blew into Corpus Christi and the flooding that continues to decimate the Houston area have dominated the news since it began. It is a very sad state of affairs for those affected by the flooding; many have lost everything.
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Three Things You’ll Never Hear Me Say in a Counseling Session
Have you heard this phrase before? It means that if you can think positively—put a positive spin on your problem, it won’t be so hard. As you know if you’ve tried this, the effect can be good, but it is rarely a lasting one. You can “think positive” about something for a time, but reality usually dictates that when something is difficult, one’s thinking about it can’t stay positive for long.
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Mantras, Bible Verses, and Change
Sincere believers want to change and become like Christ. Sadly, we have probably all at some point heard such people express frustration, disappointment, and despair at their continued failure to do so. Maybe you have experienced that yourself. What I have often seen is that they will take a Bible verse, or concept, and then recite these repeatedly, believing that by doing so, the problem will go away and they will change. They are repeating Bible verses in a mantra-like fashion, in an effort to bring about whatever it is that is so desperately wanted. What they are reciting is true, as it is the Word of God. The problem is that it is not specific enough and it results in the lack of change.
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Pain: An Enemy or a Friend?
About 10 years ago, I began my journey with chronic pain. It started innocently enough, with knee pain from arthritis. Fast forward to now, I’ve had two failed knee replacements on the same leg, and I am still battling knee pain, along with a number of other sources of chronic pain that have arisen as a result.
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Reflections of a Rookie Counselor, Part 2
In my last post, I shared with you some of the lessons I’ve learned about biblical counseling and discipleship as I’ve journeyed through my first few years as a certified biblical counselor. I had been in positions of leadership within my church, and had counseled many women over the years informally. About 10 years ago, I decided to pursue certification. Providentially, there were many circumstances beyond my control, and I didn’t actually receive my certification until just a few years ago.
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Disclosure or Discovery in Marriage Counseling
As part of helping a couple reconcile the relationship, we require that the sexual offender do what is called a full disclosure. In a full disclosure, the offender is required to confess his or her sexual sin in detail to their spouse. Prior to this confessional meeting, they spend time examining their life and detailing all the ways they have sexually sinned against their spouse the years. This can be a very daunting and uncomfortable task to undertake, but it is totally necessary for reconciliation to take place.
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Three Lessons Learned: Reflections of a Rookie Counselor
Because of the training I received through Reigning Grace Counseling Center, I was thoroughly equipped to minister the Word to those first few counselees I worked with. But that didn’t mean I wasn’t still a little scared! So, in my next couple of posts, I’d like to share with you some of the things I’ve learned in my first few years of formal counseling.
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Why Not Divorce?
Divorce is the rendering of the covenant that two people made first to God and then to each other. Both people made solemn, sovereign, and covenantal promises to love, honor, serve, bear with each other, and maintain sexual purity, until the day they died.
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Three Lies the World is Telling Your Teen
It Gets Better “It Gets Better” is a campaign that was started in 2010 to encourage and affirm LGBT youth who were suffering bullying and physical threats because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. The campaign’s purpose was to reduce the number of...
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Age, Wisdom, and Beauty
I will admit that I am a woman who struggles with aging. I have wrestled with heading toward 60 years old. I have resisted allowing my hair to become its (new) natural color, and when I look in the mirror I see a face that is no longer recognizable to me. In fact, I’m often shocked at the woman I see looking back at me in the mirror and I wonder, how did this happen? When did I become “an older woman”?
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Cheerleaders Wanted
I recently had the opportunity to cheer on my soon-to-be daughter-in-law in her very first marathon. She had trained for months for the event, and was so excited to be in the race. My husband and I cleared our schedule far in advance of that day so that we could trace...
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Where Does Your Heart Focus?
Where does the human heart focus when life is not how we want it? When it is thinking about something in the present, very often it is on how things would be better if they were different. If there have been difficult conversations, the mind may go out to rehearse what was said in the past and how things could have been said in a different way. The mind may then go to future possible conversations, figuring out how to ensure that things go the way that you want them to.
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Advice for Troubled Marriages Pt. 3
We have come to the final installment of my series on common problems in a marriage. You can read part 1 and part 2. Today, we will tackle the difficult subject of love. Love should not be a complicated issue in marriage, right? Isn’t that why we get married? We “fall in love” and plan to live happily ever after. There is nothing wrong with the desire to be loved. However, when “being loved” turns into the demand to “feel loved”, a very painful and destructive corner is turned in the marriage.
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