This is definitely not an exhaustive list of mistakes we as counselors might make. It is also true that, despite our best efforts, biblical counseling may not produce change, and there can be many factors involved there. It is always a grief to me when a counselee decides to stop coming, or I have to dismiss her because she is not participating or is not motivated to change. But God forbid that the failure would be on my part.
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Proverbs 18:13 says, “He who gives an answer before he hears, it is folly and shame to him.” (NASB) Often, those defending a woman who has been hurt do not have the full story. They speak out in support of her without knowing the facts of the situation. Unless you can have access to the other party involved, be very careful about coming to conclusions. It is very easy to take up a reproach on behalf of someone you care about or when the cause is important to you for personal reasons.
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It is never good to be out of fellowship after leaving a church. Do some research, and figure out where you’re going even before you’ve made your final decision. Once you have decided, contact the pastor of the new church and let him know you’d like to meet to discuss the transition.
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I believe one of the reasons God created friendship was so that we could help each other. If one of us falls down, the other can help her up. This is true in the literal sense, as well as in the spiritual sense. If my friend falls into unbelief, hopelessness, fear, or any of the other troubles that plague us as humans, I can help her up as she opens her heart to me for encouragement and discipleship.
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If you have succumbed to doubt and are already experiencing full-blown discouragement, you may need help in the form of another person. The Bible says that iron sharpens iron, and that two are better than one. We all know that we can turn to God at any time and He will help, but sometimes we need “God in a bod.” A person who is indwelt by the Spirit of God can communicate truth to us in ways that our stubborn hearts may not have discerned by merely reading it.
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