Category: Bitterness

You Disappoint Me: The Importance of Asking Questions

They were at loggerheads. It started off with a frustrated comment about a church member’s absence from the annual church meeting. When the guilt-trip did not have the desired impact, the conversation spiraled into accusations of being hard, selfish, and cruel. From being frustrated at the lack of attendance at a church meeting, the person now heard “you disappoint me.”

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Where Does Your Heart Focus?

Where does the human heart focus when life is not how we want it? When it is thinking about something in the present, very often it is on how things would be better if they were different. If there have been difficult conversations, the mind may go out to rehearse what was said in the past and how things could have been said in a different way. The mind may then go to future possible conversations, figuring out how to ensure that things go the way that you want them to.

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Will You Keep Trusting As You Suffer?

This week I was talking with a woman who has been a victim of what could be called constructive dismissal. In the past, she had been put into a position where she was forced to resign so that she would not be sinning. After resigning, those who had put her in that position lied about her reason for leaving and other people believed the lie. In the meantime, the Lord provided her with a new place of work where she has been able to help other people in their Christian lives. When she was forced to resign, she was not certain of having this new occupation and was brought to a position of trusting the Lord alone for her future.

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Where Do You Find Your Identity? Part 2

If life has changed dramatically for you, never to be the same again, you are probably reeling, uncertain what to do or where to go from here. You know that you were created to bring glory to God, but you don’t see how you can do that in your present condition. The truth is, my dear sister, you can bring glory to God in any condition He sovereignly ordains for you, no matter how unwelcome it may be in your view. This truth will never change. Your identity hasn’t changed, either. You may feel incomplete as you are now, but God says you are complete in Him.

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Where Do You Find Your Identity?

A life-changing event like this forces a person to examine their identity. Who am I now? Who am I if I can’t be who I thought I was? A believer in this kind of trial will be forced to take a hard look at where she has rooted her identity. If she doesn’t line it up with Scripture, she risks depression, sorrow, and bitterness. This is exactly where I was as my “new normal” became clear to me. I found myself in a kind of limbo, realizing that I had grounded my sense of who I was in what I could do. When this became clear, I knew that I had to deconstruct the person I had built and start over. This time though, it wouldn’t be me doing the building.

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We are not a licensed counseling agency, nor are we psychologically or medically trained therapists. We offer 'pastoral' counseling intended to bring life change through heart change.