If you have prayerfully done everything you can think of to help her, and your counselee still seems stuck, remember that there is only one Sovereign, all-knowing Person, and that’s not you. Go to the Lord with your counselee, asking Him to reveal the problem. Ask your counselee to pray. Hearing her prayer may even give you new information!
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This is definitely not an exhaustive list of mistakes we as counselors might make. It is also true that, despite our best efforts, biblical counseling may not produce change, and there can be many factors involved there. It is always a grief to me when a counselee decides to stop coming, or I have to dismiss her because she is not participating or is not motivated to change. But God forbid that the failure would be on my part.
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Church membership is vital for a believer, and counselees must be encouraged to be active in a church. If they don’t have one, I ask them to attend my church during the course of our time together. This way, I know what they are being taught, and I can encourage them to get plugged in and start seeking a discipling partner. Biblical Counseling has its distinctive advantages for a season, but it can’t work as it should without the church.
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Biblical counseling is a targeted form of discipleship. Discipleship is one person coming alongside another in a relationship that is intended to provide an opportunity for exhorting one another to become more Christ-like.
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Discipline is an important aspect of growing and changing (sanctification), and we must be willing to submit ourselves to teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness (2 Tim. 3:16-17). The counselee learns how to grow and change through the preaching of the Word, and through the discipline of consistently reading the Bible, studying the Scriptures, and committing them to memory (1 Corinthians 9:24-26). These are worthwhile investments of time, for they will reap a bountiful harvest of righteousness.
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We are not a licensed counseling agency, nor are we psychologically or medically trained therapists. We offer ‘pastoral’ counseling intended to bring life change through heart change.