I will admit that I am a woman who struggles with aging. I have wrestled with heading toward 60 years old. I have resisted allowing my hair to become its (new) natural color, and when I look in the mirror I see a face that is no longer recognizable to me. In fact, I’m often shocked at the woman I see looking back at me in the mirror and I wonder, how did this happen? When did I become “an older woman”?
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If life has changed dramatically for you, never to be the same again, you are probably reeling, uncertain what to do or where to go from here. You know that you were created to bring glory to God, but you don’t see how you can do that in your present condition. The truth is, my dear sister, you can bring glory to God in any condition He sovereignly ordains for you, no matter how unwelcome it may be in your view. This truth will never change. Your identity hasn’t changed, either. You may feel incomplete as you are now, but God says you are complete in Him.
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Nineteen years ago I asked her what the most important lesson was that she had learned. Her answer was to put the cross into practice daily by dying to self and living for the Lord. Interestingly, this lady who has daily died to her sinful self since learning of its importance about 60 years ago, has experienced the real life that everyone longs for. By living this life, she has inspired countless others to live for the Lord as well.
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Sometimes, it is hard for us as their friends to confront them in their sin and hold them accountable, because their suffering is so raw and unending. Are we doing them a favor when we overlook their sin and make excuses for them? Maybe for a time this might be appropriate, as they each adjust to the difficulty or trial. But if this sin becomes a pattern, as it has with the examples above, then we as their Christian brothers and sisters must help them to repent and change.
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Individuals who suffer from chronic pain must learn to cope with the loss of the life that they’d thought would be. Jane, for instance, will not sail into her retirement years crocheting and sewing for her grandchildren, as she’d thought she would. Needlework and crafting gave her a great deal of pleasure and satisfaction, and in some ways were a part of her identity. Dealing with chronic pain is, in this sense, like a death: The person you thought you were; the person you planned to be, at least in this sense, has died. Counselees with chronic pain or disability often wrestle with the question, “Who am I now? Now that I can’t do the things that I’m most known for doing, who am I, and what purpose do I serve now? “
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We are not a licensed counseling agency, nor are we psychologically or medically trained therapists. We offer ‘pastoral’ counseling intended to bring life change through heart change.