He is using their trials and disagreements to reveal the contents of their heart and shape and conform them into women and men who desire to love, honor, serve, and worship Him more than anything else in life.
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This is definitely not an exhaustive list of mistakes we as counselors might make. It is also true that, despite our best efforts, biblical counseling may not produce change, and there can be many factors involved there. It is always a grief to me when a counselee decides to stop coming, or I have to dismiss her because she is not participating or is not motivated to change. But God forbid that the failure would be on my part.
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We can’t simply guard against outward behaviors that we can readily recognize as sinful. We must focus our heart-guarding efforts upon the inward thoughts and motivations that drive our beliefs and our behavior.
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You were created to glorify God (Isaiah 43:7). How are you doing right now, in this relationship with your daughter-in-law? If you sense conviction that you have been sinning in this relationship, repent and ask the Lord to help you love her. If this is a struggle, meditate on all that God has forgiven in your life, and the ways that He has loved you, even in your sin and rebellion.
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What kind of behavior were you expecting? What entitles you to have what you expect? What is the reason that the behavior was not brought under discipline before it got to that point? Was everything calm and cool before you “just snapped,” or were there warning signs that you were becoming angry, which you chose to ignore?
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We are not a licensed counseling agency, nor are we psychologically or medically trained therapists. We offer ‘pastoral’ counseling intended to bring life change through heart change.