Love is something that has been greatly perverted in our culture. The word love is bantered about with careless abandon, and consistent misuse has cheapened this important word.
A popular Christian rock group once said that love is a verb, and this is true based on what we see in the Scriptures. Biblical love is very different from the cheap love of the world. Biblical love is patterned after the love that God in Jesus Christ has for us. In marriage, biblical love is enduring( I Cor. 13:7); is verbalized (Jeremiah 31:3); is compassionate (Psalm 112:4); is demonstrated by action (Romans 5:8), and is self-sacrificial (John 10:11).
Self-sacrificing love is contrary to the love of the world, which is primarily focused only on self. Self-focused love is often feelings oriented and based on physical attraction, infatuation, lust, and neediness. The fruit of such “love” is selfishness, pride, fear, bitterness, and distraction with worldly things such as money, success, or the pursuit of pleasure. A woman who is seeking to have her “love cup” filled by the other person, or to have her needs met as a condition of participation in the marriage, is not demonstrating biblical love.
Self-sacrificing love is intended to be primarily giving to the other person. If a woman is going to demonstrate this kind of love, she must be more focused on her husband than on herself. This kind of love is visible when a woman seeks to serve and to honor and to bless her marriage partner. Self-sacrificing love is also humble. It listens, considers, and studies how to better learn the other person in order to better serve them. Self-sacrificing love is willing to be long-suffering and return good for evil even when sinned against. It is also forgiving and seeks to find and believe the best of the other person.
Sadly, this is not what we see in our culture. Society is replete with what it considers love, and it bears absolutely no resemblance to God’s kind of love. It is impossible for a wife to love and respect her husband apart from a saving and growing relationship with Jesus Christ. In order for a woman to demonstrate these godly qualities she must be indwelt by the Spirit of God and determined to bring Him honor and glory by how she lives her life.
Love in Action
It is important to note that a person can do all sorts of loving actions without ever expressing the feelings and emotions behind them. In marriage, expressions of the feeling of love are also important. Kissing, hand holding, cuddling, and private times of sexual intimacy are all demonstrations of the emotion of love. It is important that a wife investigate how she can show love to her husband. The husband must also learn how he can show love to his wife. Some women are not interested in words but are very encouraged by the completion of a task list. Other women have great appreciation for gifts and cards. Still other, wives prefer the gift of time and attention over anything else. Wise husbands and wives will take the time to learn how they can best demonstrate love to each other, knowing their love should always reflect the love of Christ, for the glory of God.