A Reminder of My Sinfulness and His Grace
Things have been stressful in my world for the past couple of months. It seems that everything has been what I would call out of control since my dad died in late September.
As I was sitting on an airplane very early this morning, I was thinking and praying about yesterday. Actually, I was confessing. You see, things have been a little rough lately, very busy, and very stressful. Lots of traveling, a new laptop that arrived broken yesterday, some health issues for my husband, and on the home front, my house has been a mess for the past 7 months as we try to finish some remodeling projects. Additionally, my washing machine broke and water leaked down to the living room ceiling below as well as ruining the flooring the entire length of the upstairs hallway and the stairs, adding one more project to the list. I’ve been on the hunt for a new washing machine since this happened exactly one month ago.
Yesterday was to be the delivery day of my new stackable washer and dryer units. When they arrived, the delivery men determined they would not fit in the space because of some venting issues. With sorrow, I watched my long-awaited machines get loaded back on the truck. So close, but yet so far.
I quickly hopped in the car and drove to my favorite big box store to select a new machine. Abandoning my original desires, I chose a plain ol’ top loading washing machine and arranged for next day delivery. When I arrived at the check out I realized I’d forgotten to grab the credit card for that store. They wouldn’t allow me to charge it without my husband present, and he was at work and unable to answer his phone.
I was furious. I went out to my car and in sinful anger pitched an unholy fit. My ugly sinful rant continued all the way home and back to the store. When I talked to my husband (finally) I was not very nice to him either.
So, this morning as I sat on the plane waiting to take off I was thinking about how sinful I am and how sinful my behavior was yesterday. I was asking the Lord why He tolerates me on days like that one. The thought occurred to me that it’s not that I’m so great every other day of my life; He doesn’t keep me (Jude 24) because I’m so awesome most days and that makes up for being “bad” yesterday. Every single day I am kept because of Christ. Sun up to sun down, good days, great days, faithful days, and even the really sinful days; He keeps a sinner such as me because of the great love He has for His Son, Jesus Christ. This was a good and humbling reminder; one that I was frankly surprised I needed. It is so easy to fall into prideful, independent thinking! May I never, ever forget that I am a sinner saved only by His marvelous grace. I am so very thankful for Jesus.
Now to the one who is able to keep you from falling and will cause you to stand, rejoicing, without blemish before His glorious presence, to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus Christ our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority, before all time, and now, for all eternity. Amen. Jude 1:24-25 (NET)