A Biblical Reproof Restores
One way that a husband helps his wife to grow in Christ-likeness is to deliver a biblical reproof when he sees that she has sin in her life. A biblical reproof is telling someone what they are doing wrong with the intent to restore them to a right relationship with God. A biblical reproof is in keeping with what Jesus said in Matthew 18:15. A reproof is to be a loving act done in this case by a husband who is fulfilling his God-given role as her spiritual head.
Receiving a reproof from your husband or anyone else is not easy. Our natural response is to become defensive and rationalize and justify the actions that led to receiving the reproof. However, the wise woman will consider what she has been told. It is always good to ask for specific examples of the pattern of sin for which you are being reproved. Many of the sins that we commit have become habitual patterns of living: We have done them for so long that they become automatic behaviors and our conscience is dull toward them. Recognize that it is good to have someone in your life who knows you so well, and loves you so much, that he takes your spiritual growth seriously enough to deliver a rebuke when necessary.
Disagreement With Reproof
If a wife does not initially agree with the reproof, she should let her husband know that she is taking this seriously and would like to take a time to pray, and ask the Lord to examine her heart (Psalm 139:23-24) regarding what has been said. As she is praying she should also ask the Lord to open her heart to the possibility that what her husband has said to her is the truth; and then, following prayer, head to the Scriptures. Searching the Scriptures for evidence that her actions or attitude are sinful is one thing she should do, but she should also be open to conviction by the Holy Spirit as she reads and studies. If her heart attitude while searching the Scriptures is to prove her husband wrong, then I doubt she will benefit much from the time she spends there.
Admission of Guilt
Upon understanding that she has been sinning, a godly woman will confess her sin to God, and ask His help with repentance and change. She should also go to her husband and confess to him, if he is the one she has sinned against. At the very least she should admit to him that he was accurate in the reproof that he delivered and that she is working to change in this area.
Process of Biblical Change
The process of biblical change includes repenting of your sin. This does not mean just stopping the wrong or sinful behavior. It includes the conviction that your words or actions are not glorifying to God. This brings understanding that what you have done is sinful and grievous to God. You may also recognize that in developing this sinful pattern, you have been living an idolatrous life as you have been worshiping something other than God. And finally, you must turn away or cut off that sin and leave it behind.
A woman who takes her husband’s biblical reproof seriously will only benefit and will continue to be a beautiful vessel that Christ can use.
We are not a licensed counseling agency, nor are we psychologically or medically trained therapists. We offer ‘pastoral’ counseling intended to bring life change through heart change.