Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.  Romans 13:13-14 (NASB)

I finished up yesterday’s post with a couple of links to some previous postings about the critical nature of the heart in change of life. Self-gratification is a habit, a comfort, a release, a choice, and a decision.  When a woman engages in this behavior it is she is deciding to indulge the lusts of the flesh. She wants to feel good, and sometimes she just wants to feel something.

I will repeat what I said yesterday, that there is nothing in Scripture that specifically prohibits masturbation by name. That does not make it permissible or advisable to participate in this behavior. In putting together the numerous passages that command us to avoid fleshly lusts, make no provision for the flesh, honor God with our bodies, and avoid sexual immorality a person who is thinking biblically must conclude that self-gratification is a behavior that does not bring glory to God.

I believe the only way to truly overcome this sin is to be broken over it. The feelings that accompany sexual release are so pleasurable and even addicting, that unless the heart is reached and aches because of it there will be sporadic periods of success but not an overcoming of it as a lifestyle. 

Our goal in biblical counseling is to help a person meet the challenges of life by means of biblical heart change.

Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:1-2

You have to understand that self-sex is not glorifying to God, and then you have to decide if glorifying God is more important to you than feeling good, and indulging your sinful desires.

I do not believe self-gratification is a gift for the single person, I believe that it is a sin that entangles and drags a person down into deeper sin both in thought and action. 

For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God; and that no man transgress and defraud his brother in the matter because the Lord is the avenger in all these things, just as we also told you before and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for the purpose of impurity, but in sanctification.     1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 (NASB)

I have seen the effects of this sin in the lives of the women I counsel. They are guilt ridden because they know in their heart that what they are doing is wrong. They are ashamed of their behavior and tell me they seem to be powerless to stop. While the latter part is not true because we have been enabled not to sin because of Christ in us, the feelings are so strong that we believe we cannot stand against them. The truth is you can refuse to obey the lusts of the flesh and decide to glorify God instead.