You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted (or grows corrupt) by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24
If you want to be a better communicator you must identify specific areas or methods of communication that you need to change. Is it the tone you use when you speak? Are you sarcastic or condescending? Are your words harsh or critical? It’s not only the words or tone that need to be changed, it is what fuels or motivates you to speak that way. Notice that the verse also speaks of putting off “deceitful lusts.” These involve both the inner and outer man. One of the keys to changing how you communicate is to identify the desires or lusts that lead to undesirable communication habits.
Once you identify your problem areas determine that with the help of God that you are going to put them to death! The sinful nature will be with you until the day you die, but you can lessen its impact on your life by putting it on a starvation diet. When you feed your sinful nature by indulging its lusts it will continue to grow stronger and more corrupt. The flesh is not fed by goodness; it is fed by sinful thoughts and desires that lead to sinful actions. The desires of your flesh are actually insatiable and have such a strong appetite that Scripture warns us against giving in to it.
For if you live according to the sinful nature, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:13 (NIV)
It is a fact that the longer you stay in contact with your former way of life and the sin it contained the more corrupt you will become. The longer sin is tolerated the harder your heart will become, and the more difficult it becomes to put a stop to the behavior- even when the heart change has taken place!
You must choose to change the way you think about sinful communication habits. Look at them the way God does and ask Him to give you a true hatred for corrupt communication. You may already have realized that you don’t work at putting something to death until you develop a hatred for it. I have seen some women not change because the sin didn’t particularly bother them. It is something they have learned to tolerate and they nurture it, and keep it close… this is death.
God commands you to be made new in the attitude of your mind; to look at sin the way He does.
So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. Ephesians 4:17-19 (NIV)
You must become concerned about being completely humble. Communication is often times controlled by self-centeredness that creates problems between us and other people. Humility can be defined as a willingness to sacrifice any of my desires that stand in opposition of what God’s desires are for me.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus… Philippians 2:3-5a (NIV)This is a great first step! Practice thinking of other people before you open your mouth to speak today. Think like Jesus, talk like Jesus, and you will find you are being transformed into His likeness.